Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident!
Firstly,
it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means,
otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So, self confidence means:
1) Being calm. For
every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of
emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the
experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to
relax in a greater range of situations.
2) Being cool. The
second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with
uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not
knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you
can do pretty much anything.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You
know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go
there but when you get there it is totally different to your
imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your
imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what
others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong.
4) Being specific – where do you want confidence?‘Confidence’
is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already
confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and
off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want
in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you
want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now
and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards
confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your
brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task
has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring
about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s
name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your
head.
The ‘trying
to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future
subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you –
when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural
mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the
right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead
of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’
for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your
brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And
nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task
blueprints with.
7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now
you understand how vital it is to set the right task for your brain,
you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly
‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your
imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed
while in a relaxed state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do
anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into
your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1)
Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel
confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you
attach it to something specific.
2)
Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to
be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or
‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.
3)
Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words
feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind
feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or
‘task’ for your unconscious mind.
