We've all been told heaps of stories about what love is and what
rules we should follow to find love or to keep love alive. More often
than not, these different stories can be contradictory, leaving us
confused about what it is we are actually looking for. But what's also
typically common among these myths is an underlying belief that love has
to be something outside of us. Well, the good news is that the truth about love is much brighter than these myths allow us to imagine.
In my own life, I've radically transformed from acting passively as a
slave to love, to realizing that I have all the power I need inside
myself with regard to feeling love in my life. In other words, I now
know that the source of feeling connected in my life comes from myself,
and this fresh, shifted perspective.
But before I awakened to
this truth about love, I was stuck in painful patterns that held me back
and was further away from the reality of love than I knew. I was in
back-to-back relationships from the age of 13 to 31. And while I've
loved mypartners, I also spent too trapped in romantic illusions about love
that had me constantly giving my power away and thinking that this other
person was the source of my happiness, and that it was necessarily
meant to be forever.
Needless to say, any time I went through a breakup,
I felt like I was experiencing a death. As a result, my romantic dramas
began to take an unhealthy toll on my body, mind and soul — until one
day when I woke up to a completely different way of seeing things.
It took a breakup that dragged me to the ground and an accompanying
willingness to begin my spiritual journey. I discovered beauty in my
feelings of brokenness, and came out on the other side empowered with a
new level of truth, peace and clarity I never thought was possible.
With that, I'll share with you five inspiring lessons on love and relationships that I've learned on my spiritual path.
1. Love is everywhere.
Love does not have to be "found" through an encounter with another
person. Believe it or not, the world is a mirror of our perceptions of
ourselves. I'm sure most of us know about "waking up on the wrong side
of the bed." We begin the day thinking we will feel unhappy — and, lo
and behold, we have a bad day. That's an every day example of the way
our minds have power over our experience.
By the same token, when we honor and respect our needs above all
else, everything else lines up on the outside. When we reconnect with
our power source, our inner peace, unconditional love within through our
devotion to a daily spiritual practice, we tap an inner wellspring that
will overflow into our relationships. This love is greater than any
love and way beyond romantic love.
2. Your soul mate is not your fantasy partner who looks like what you want on paper.
First of all, we have many, many soul mates. Second, soul mates either
come into our lives to help us in our healing for a certain period of
time or help us fly even higher than ever at a moment of intense growth.
A particular soul mate may even end up a life partner eventually. It
all depends on where we're at within our own personal growth processes.
3. When a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it "failed."
Regret doesn't do anything to create positive change
in our lives, plain and simple. And from a higher spiritual
perspective, everything is always perfect; it is only our judgment of
how we think things "should" look that causes us suffering.
Relationships don't have to be forever in order to be successful. A
successful relationship might be one in which we've learned particular
lessons so that we can move on to another relationship beyond our
wildest dreams. It is when our learning is over that the relationship
ends (or at least it's meant to if we are strong enough to walk away and
"complete the assignment").
Not all relationships are lifelong partnerships. When a
relationships ends, a completion has taken place. If the separation was
made with love and compassion, then the lesson-to-be-learned has also
reached a point of completion. That way, it won't come back around in a
new relationship to haunt you with familiar painful patterns.
4. The real reason love is everywhere may surprise you.
As I mentioned, love is everywhere. But the real reason that you will
be able to see the love everywhere is by first realizing that you are
your own source of it. When we learn to tune into the present moment,
each moment of every day, we realize that there is actually beauty and
knowledge to be gained in all experience. This creates a spacious mind, a
sense of resilience, and ultimately, feelings of love and connection in
our lives.
You are already whole, and no other person can or
will complete you. As we become strong in our inner core, and able to be
guided from our intuitive place of higher wisdom, we can choose that
which serves our highest good, partners who are also whole and complete
so that we can join in harmony rather than from a place of lack.
5. You are the one you've been waiting for.
You are the hero of your own life. You can save yourself and create your own life.
You don't need to wait for anyone. Similarly, you don't have to be the
rescuer or the hero for another person. You can just be you. The right
person for you will want you rather than "need" you.
When we begin to shift internally, connecting with our true source
of love and power within, our world begins to change and our
relationships deepen, expand, grow and sparkle in ways that go beyond
fairy-tales and Hollywood films. These are relationships built on two
whole, happy people coming together to create something even bigger than
themselves, positively affecting those around them.
Love was
never meant to be only about two people; love is about cooperation,
collaboration and connection. As Mother Teresa said, "I can do things
you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great
things."
To take the first steps to more love in your life, download your free copy of The Happiness Blueprint.
Photo Credit: Stocksy Source:mindbodygreen