We have two options in life: To be kind, or not to be kind. It’s
absolutely empowering to choose kindness, and below are 18 ways to help
you practice doing so every day. I hope these positive decisions can
help you thrive!
1. Be kind to your body, no matter what's happening in your life.
As the saying goes, “You have to love yourself first before you can ever love someone else.” And it's true for our bodies, too.
This may sound a little nutty, but I have a friend who talks to the fat
on her body. She thanks the fat for being there, then touches it in a
playful way, and asks it to leave. “Thank you for keeping me warm this
winter, belly fat," she says. "I’ll see you next December. For now, it's
time to go.”
Her technique, though odd, reframes the way she
views herself and gives her a positive outlook on weight loss, something
that most of us just suffer through because we're so busy hating our
bodies. Seeing her do that really opened my eyes to being kinder to
myself. No matter what's going on in our bodies (cancer, weight gain, or
illness, for example), we must be kind to our bodies.
2. Talk to yourself in a kind way to shape the way you view the world.
Sometimes I repeat my purpose under my breath as I walk: I am
kind, and I work hard and passionately to share my message. I am nice to
my physical body and I am compassionate towards others.
Self-talk, in a kind way, can comfort you when you’re feeling uncertain
about the way things are going — or went. If you're stressed out about
the outcome of a meeting, for example, you can remind yourself that at
least you showed up and did your best. Talking to yourself is a way to
reaffirm your thoughts (which shape your reality), so make sure you’re
saying things that you want to manifest!
3. When you need help, help someone else.
It’s
totally OK to ask for help. Sometimes, it’s even powerful to do so — it
shows that you need someone’s strength to become a stronger person …
and we all do. If you’re intimidated to ask for a little love in your
direction, try sharing it with others and then sit back and wait. The
help that you dole out will come back to you, 10-fold in due time. Acts
of kindness are always repaid.
4. Put an act of kindness in your calendar.
There’s
this thing I’ve been meaning to do for the last three weeks. It
involved sending a package to one of my loyal blog readers, and I was
postponing it, because the post office is half a mile away. (In the
Florida sunshine, that’s an eternity, plus a sunburn!)
Having something that you’re meant to do, on your mind for so long,
is torturous! So, I put a time down in my calendar (in the morning!) to
walk to the post office and ship the box. The bottom line: Write it down
and you’re more likely to do it.
5. Think about small things you can do to make someone else’s day a little easier.
Show
up. It’s free, it’s easy, and it’s thoughtful. Share a book that
changed your life. Bring someone to a party — it’s easy and the introduction could make a big difference in that person's life.
All three of these things happened at my Blogiversary party, which made
it such a fun event. People showed up to shower each other with love
and kindness (and cupcakes).
6. Go with the flow. It could be the Universe's way of sending you some guidance.
Here's
a scenario that I encounter frequently when I'm at home, writing: I’m
deep into thought, and the words are pouring out of me and onto the
page. All of the sudden, I find my dog scratching my leg with his sharp
nails, begging to go out. But I’m busy, so I throw him a treat that will
occupy him for five minutes before he comes back, asking to go out.
After talking about this situation with the very successful author, Dr. Wayne Dyer,
I accepted that my dog’s decision to go out, exactly at the time when I
was deep in thought, was the Universe telling me to take 15 minutes and
go for a walk.
So, I decided to seeing what the Universe's goal for me was. The
next time I was writing and my dog interrupted, I took him for a walk.
Interestingly enough, when I returned to my writing, I instantly saw
ways to improve the draft. The break allowed me to grasp a new, more
insightful perspective.
Instead of pushing back against the
Universe’s requests (however annoying and disruptive they may be), go
with the flow and look for a lesson to be learned.
7. Decide to stop judging everyone, including yourself.
As
soon as we judge ourselves, we empower others to judge us, too. And we
all hate the way that feels. I know, it is SO hard not to judge when
everyone else is doing it. Next time the thought appears, see it from
the outside of your body. Just observe it. And ...
8. When judgmental thoughts arise, talk to them like a kindergarten teacher.
With
lots of practice, I have gotten very good at living judgment-free …
most of the time. I still need some practice. Sometimes, I find myself
getting into a judgmental mode. When this happens, I imagine stepping
outside and seeing myself from another person’s perspective. Like a
kindergarten teacher, I whisper to the annoying little thought, Please, sit down, I know you’re here, but you must be kind.
My goal is to retrain my mind to be kind, instead of attacking myself
for having negative thoughts (which would only create more frustration
and not improve anything).
9. Weave kindness into your business plan.
I take this very literally, as the tagline on my blog
is “Inspiration for kind people.” Everyone aspires to be kind, even if
they’re not. If you work in an office or group, talk about kindness,
reward it, and employ it. You’ll love yourself more when you see how
you’ve empowered people to shine.
10. Thank your best teachers.
Go
on, right now — send a quick email or a text to your best teachers in
life. Thank them! It will make them feel so proud of all of the times
they were patient and kind toward you while you learned.
11. Thank your worst teachers.
We all have jerks in our lives.
Instead of spending your precious time and energy trying to avoid them,
consider them your greatest teachers. Forgive them, and be kind to
them, even if it's only in your head.
12. Call a friend instead of sending a text.
Next time you pick up the phone to text someone, give them a call
instead. (I know, using the phone sounds like an antiquated idea!) But
look at it this way: you’re probably texting the person because the
thought of them magically appeared in your mind — again, the Universe’s
way of nudging you to reach out. A phone call is a much more intimate
way to connect with someone than a text. I’m not a gambler, but I’m
willing to bet that you'll both appreciate the call.
13. Answer the phone.
Oh
yes, this goes both ways! Someone calls us and it’s inconvenient to
talk — or maybe we’re just lazy. We send their call to voicemail and go
on watching Game of Thrones with a tinge of guilt that by the
time it's over, it will be too late to call back. Honor the caller’s
effort to be kind, and just chat for a few moments — you never know what
that call could mean to them until you pick up the phone and press
answer.
14. Show up.
Do
you have a friend or acquaintance who you always invite to party or an
event and always find yourself wondering why the heck they never show
up? Or why they always cancel last-minute? Actually, that used to be me.
I was afraid to show up to events because I was afraid that people were
going to judge me. My body, my outfit — totally afraid!
Maybe that feeling resonates with you? Well, my advice is to forget
judgment. Leave it powerless. Starve it. Showing up when someone invites
you somewhere is the best gift you can give someone, and also yourself.
Go to support — show up and be kind. And have fun, for goodness' sake!
15. Remember: time is our biggest asset.
When
you just can’t help but get angry or judgmental (hey, we’re all human!)
stop for a second and think about your life. If it were to end in a
second, how would you spend your time? Start choosing your reactions by
understanding how you want to spend your last few minutes. Live your
last few minutes like a firecracker — enliven everyone around you with
your colorful bursts, and fizzle out when you’re at the top!
16. Give someone the benefit of the doubt.
If
someone's a jerk to you, try giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe they just had their first kid and are so sleep-deprived,
hormone-dazed, and totally overwhelmed, that they barely have time to
brush their teeth. I use this as an example, because this happened to
me.
I wondered why my friends with new babies disappeared for
six months after birth. I thought it was because I didn’t have kids, so
we could no longer be friends, right?
Thankfully, one of my mommy friends was quick to tell me otherwise.
She said the first six months of parenting are the craziest six months
of your life. (I wouldn’t know, yet.) After she explained that to me, I
thought about how many times I’ve not given people the benefit of the
doubt, and blamed them for something that's no one’s fault. And six
months later, just as my friend said, we’re hanging out again — now with
a cute little sidekick in tow.
17. Listen.
I have ‘listening victims’ in my life and they are my angels: My
grandma, my mom and my older brother, my sister-in-law — and of course, my husband.
I pick up the phone, and vent, and all they do is listen without
judgment. Sometimes, listening is the kindest thing that you can do for
someone. Listening is easy and it doesn’t require the pressure of having
to give advice. Just listen and know that if someone’s venting to you,
it’s because they love and trust you deeply.
18. Be a conversation shifter.
Lately
I’ve found myself shifting conversations. When a conversation is going
in a direction full of gossip or judgement, I try to think about
something related to the topic, and segue into something connected but
uplifting. (Side note: If you want to know what a person is really like,
examine the way that they talk about others.) If you can interrupt any
surfacing negativity in the conversation and replace it with kindness,
you just might be the perfect cure to a group discussion — and the most
popular party invite.
I hope this list is helpful! And I challenge you to choose kindness. Remember: you are kind, you are great, you are empowered.
source:mindbodygeen