The entire world envies the French woman’s je ne sais quoi:
looking chic in an effortless way. Being slender without dieting. Being
attractive regardless of whether she’s “pretty.” Being unapologetically
self-assured. For living well, without gross excess. For enjoying great
quality without over-consuming.
Yes, it’s unfair to
generalize, and some of my friends would say they don’t see themselves
in such a description. Yes, there are exceptions, as there are
everywhere. But what I admire so much in our French friends — of all
shapes and sizes — is their capacity for amour propre, self-love and self-respect.
So what happened when I finally started taking some of their cues? I
became more confident. I looked more self-assured. I may never totally
“look” French any more than I will miraculously lose my accent, despite
decades of living in France. The point is that women who value
themselves, take care of themselves and pick up that je ne sais quoi
attitude become much more compelling. And life without excuses or quiet
guilt about listening to one’s own needs and desires tends to —
surprise! — make you happier in life.
Below, what I’ve learned about self-love, a la française:
1. Make the most of your assets.
If
French women are well-known for their sense of style, it’s because they
figure out what works for them and they stick with it, updating with
small, seasonal touches (which is also more economical).
2. Practice pleasure rituals.
Feeling good is as important as looking good. Long baths, facials,
massages, any type of treatment for the body are not luxuries, they're
essentials — no matter how busy your life is.
3. Don’t punish your body.
The “no pain, no gain” school of thought never made it to these shores.
The French generally operate according to the pleasure principle: if
you’re doing something that makes you feel and look great, there will be
a positive effect on your physique and overall well-being (obviously,
this includes sex).
4. Accept your physical appearance.
Read any French women’s magazine and you’ll see that French women, too,
fret about impossible norms. But back in the real world, they know that
happiness
does not depend on wearing a size 36 (American size 2 or 4). It depends
on feeling “bien dans sa peau” (feeling good in your own skin).
5. Enjoy great food.
Great food is
fundamental to French culture, so why deprive yourself? Enjoy a little
of everything, and treats in moderation. No French woman I know eats
bread, cheese and dessert every day.
6. Respect your body.
Overeating only leads to negative feelings. Love chocolate? Have some!
But skip the cheese and extra glass of wine. Total deprivation has no
place in the pleasure-based life.
7. Feel good AND look good.
French women don’t go out looking like an unmade bed. They may be in a
hurry, but they are dressed and groomed (no sweatpants or unbrushed
hair). Feeling good is also about looking good, and looking good shows
respect for yourself and the world around you.
8. Be yourself!
Be daring, even if it’s subtle. An offbeat something — a groovy
cocktail ring, funky shoes, an unmatched scarf — express individuality.
9. Work what you have, not what you want.
French women don't wait to lose five more pounds or grow out a bad
haircut before they make an effort to look great. If you look and feel
great, no one, including you, will really notice those five pounds.
10. Keep it natural.
Who wants to wear a mask? Minimal makeup, unfussy hair (which moves), a lipstick that suits, a signature scent. That’s it.
11. Don't let age stop you from living well.
In how many other countries are women of "a certain age" still
considered seductive? French women know that age is no reason to give up
on looking and feeling great. I can name a dozen French celebrities —
Isabelle Hupert, Isabelle Adjani, Juliette Binoche, Ines de la
Fressange, for starters — who are well past 40 and revered for their
beauty and appeal.
12. Be grateful for small things.
A tiny but delicious éclair au chocolat, a new perfume, the beautiful
smell of lavender, a perfectly aged cheese. French women appreciate that
the small things in life are just as important as the big ones.
13. Enjoy life.
Find your passion, say “no” to anything that is a waste of time and keep on going. Focus on what you love. It’s irresistible!
source:mindbodygreen