Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.
it is something you design into the present.
Happy people do a lot of things. They spend time expressing
gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving
relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little
pleasures, and so on and so forth.
But they NEVER…
1. Mind other people’s business.
Forget about what others are doing. Stop looking at where they are
and what they have. Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can
do better than you. YOU are walking your own path. Sometimes the
reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our
behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight
reel. We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves. So
stop the comparisons! Ignore the distractions. Listen to your own
inner voice. Mind your own business.
Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and
dedicate time to them every day. Don’t be scared to walk alone, and
don’t be scared to enjoy it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or
negativity stop you from being the best you can be. Keep doing what you
know in your heart is right, for YOU. Because when you are focused on
meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake
you. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
2. Seek validation of self-worth from others.
When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and
competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you. And
even more importantly, you will respect yourself.
How are you letting others define you? What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have
heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t
feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life. So
forget what they think and say about you. Focus on how you feel about
yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.
Those who accept you are your friends.
Those who don’t are your teachers. If someone calls you something and
it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true. If someone calls
you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not
true. Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem. What
other people call you is their problem…
What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.
3. Rely on other people and external events for happiness.
Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we
think we need. But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more
to be content with what we already have. We don’t need anyone else’s
permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone
says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you
choose to see it as such. Don’t let your happiness be held hostage. It
is always yours to choose, to live and experience.
As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible
for your happiness, the happier you’ll be. If you’re unhappy now, it’s
not someone else’s fault. Take full responsibility for your own
unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.
Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.
Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment,
and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment
you seek.
The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your
outlook, and not upon our situation. Even if things aren’t perfect
right now, think of all the beauty still left around you. A good reason
to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you
like. (Read The Gifts of Imperfection
.)
.)4. Hold on to resentment.
Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your
past. What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story;
don’t close the book, just turn the page.
We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the
pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too
long. Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and
over, and we have a hard time letting go.
Forgiveness is the remedy. It allows you to focus on the future
without combating the past. To understand the infinite potential of
everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.
Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can
never be achieved. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or
forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
5. Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.
You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an
environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable. So
protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your
time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.
When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and
moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree,
to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK
AWAY. When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.
Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.
Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or
even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing
that changes your life. You don’t need negative thoughts. They are all
lies. They solve nothing. All they have ever given you is a false
self that suffers for no reason. (Read Buddha’s Brain
.)
.)6. Resist the truth.
It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to
lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we
become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth. Lives come
apart so easily when they have been held together with lies. If you
resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your
thoughts every night. You simply can’t get away from your truth by
moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with
deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s
popular. It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false
one. It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the
only way to truly live. Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for
the possibilities that lie ahead.
source:marcandangel